Hey gang. I know. I’m a lier. Here I am posting a thing in the middle of my supposed hiatus when I promised I wouldn’t. I’m sorry okay. I just felt like writing okay! So it’s the 22nd of November today and I am about 17 500 words from finishing my collection of short-short stories for Nanowrimo. Despite all the excitement around my being in Japan and having amazing experiences right now, I decided to go with a topic that I’ve been battling through over the past year and a bit. Loss. It’s a heavy one, and I guess today is one of those days where I’m questioning why I would put myself through that kind of trauma again. But to be real, it’s proving to be very cathartic.
Usually, I take my free periods at school as a gift and get some good numbers in on my writing. I have 2500 words to write as today’s goal but for reasons, the sad topic being one of them, I haven’t been able to pen even one word. That’s the tricky bit of writing for Nanowrimo. You’re writing preference dictates when and how you write. If you’re an opportunist like me, it’s great to be able to use the free time you get throughout the day to pen something down, be it a few decent pages or even just a story outline. The tricky part comes in when your body has an adverse reaction to the prospect of being around people while writing emotional pieces. So here we are. I can’t write what I need to for the day until I get home this evening but I’m itching to write something. And that’s why I’m here.
That aside, these few weeks I’ve been collecting ideas on things I want to share with you guys. Right now the main one is about learning a new language. I’m still trying to decide if I should do a post about “Things no one tells you about learning a new language” or if I should go with the more personal rendition of “Learning a new language when you are a polyglot.” There are actually more than two titles that I’m juggling right now. I’m even thinking of doing a language series for December because wow guys. Ku rough.
Going back to Nanowrimo, I think when people hear the number 50 000, they probably think the hardest part of the month will be writing 2000 words a day. The reality is, writing 2000 words can take you an hour and a half on a good day. The hard part is writing those words and still making sure that you have enough Story that will last you to the end of 50 000 words. And yes, this is it. This is the thing I realised last night. I’ve run out of Story for the rest of my 17 500 words. I mean, I have stories but I don’t think I have sufficiently prepared myself to be releasing them into existence just yet.
There’s a saying in writing circles that says something along the lines of “You shouldn’t try to write the story you think the world wants to hear, you should just tell the story you have to tell”. This is my mantra, but it’s very hard to live by. It’s easy to write the things you think others want to hear. Heck, sometimes they even come out sounding nice, but they just don’t have any heart. I’ve got no story prepared for the last 17 500 words and I’m trying to avoid falling into the trap of telling a story that isn’t my truth. So here I am, delaying what I know I need to do for a little bit.
This probably sounds like a mismatch of rambling words but it’s where my headspace is right now. Anyway, I’m done procrastinating, see you in December guys. I’ve missed sharing with you. (Sorry for the meme-less post)